An ex-best friend

Wow, an ex-best friend. Isn't that an oxymoron? I mean your best friends are supposed to be forever. I have had many best friends through the years. And even though I have lost touch with some of them and we only exchange occasional Facebook messages and emails, they will always be my best friends. So I guess that best friends come in and out of our lives but they never leave our hearts.

Unless, a best friend does something so painful and disguting that you can no longer have them in your life. They become toxic. And when you are grown-up with lots of responsibilities of your own you just can't afford to have such toxicity around you. It is too painful, emotional, and you just don't have time for their messes.

I don't want to say to munch too protect the identity of my friends but I will say that this ex-best friend has committed the ultimate violation of girlfriend code: you don't steal one of your best friend's boyfriends. That goes for 2nd grade crushes, college sweethearts, and CERTAINLY HUSBANDS!

But it's painful to lose a best friend for several reasons. The person you loved and shared so many wonderful memories with has turned into someone that is unrecognizable. They are selfish, hurtful, and self destructive. And it's painful because you can't help but mourn the loss of this person in your life.

However, the pain tends to fade due to your growing anger and hatred for the ex-best friend.

On one hand, they were your best friend and you might still have some shred of care for them but on the other hand you want them to experience as much pain as the people they have chosen to hurt and leave behind.

I have wondered if this ex-best friend has any remorse, any guilt, any loneliness, and ever thinks about all of the wonderful times our group spent together. Unfortunately, I believe the answer to that question is no. She doesn't. It appears that she has exactly what she set out to get and doesn't care at all about the lives and friendships that have been forever destroyed.

It’s also painful to watch one best friend’s life be destroyed by another best friend. I think it is much easier to except pain caused by a stranger.

So, I have one less best friend these days but I guess as it turns out, she wasn’t really a best friend after all.  I want to say that I will keep the ex-best friend in my prayers and that I hope she is happy with her life.  But I won't.  That would be a lie.  I have too many other people and things to pray about and she just doesn't make the cut.

I guess that is enough rambling on this subject. I just needed to get that out.